Day 25 (Week 4) – Stumbles And Blocks And Stuff
File under: productivity//energy level//brain matters//creativity
Current theme song:
And I’m busting up my brains for the words
As I sit here writing this on Day 25, Week 4, my brain is somewhere between the lyrics of a Bowie song, the words I’m trying to think of but can’t, and the contours of an intergalactic black hole. Which, by sound of it, may all very well be the exact same place. There is a pressure behind my eyes to the effect of not a headache exactly, but a head heaviness I can attribute to the espresso I really didn’t need to drink and my Week 4 drags.
I’m a little more lethargic than normal and, unfortunately, caffeine is taking me on the fast track to cloudy slugsville, rather than the much preferred bright-eyed peppytown. I should know this by now – that caffeine doesn’t help with the drags in Week 4, that it all too often has the opposite effect – but there’s something so magically promising in a cup of steamy java that I can’t resist giving it another try. Maybe I need MORE caffeine! (Nope.)
Alas, as my body starts to get a little quieter and sleepier just a few days away from my period, I start to turn into Paul Rudd’s character from Wet Hot American Summer, and every little thing becomes a chore – even speaking. Oh, words, how I love you so, but you simply allude me during this time of my cycle, you slippery devils. Like clouds on a windy day. Poof. Even simple words are difficult to draw to the tip of my tongue. My brain, like Rudd’s “Andy,” is all “hmph” and scowl when I ask it to perform this seemingly easy task. And so things, like writing this blog post (and speaking actual, real sentences that make sense), take me a bit longer than they would during say, my fiery Week 3 days.
Add to this the major klutziness that’s set in and you have yourself a very good reason for me to stay away from sharp and/or hot objects and to hole up on the couch watching movies! Which, quite honestly, is all I’m feeling properly qualified to do right now anyway. (See my previous Day 26). Moonage Daydream, here I come.
But life goes on. As much as I’d like to, I don’t have time to sit and veg all day, and to be frank, it’s not that helpful either. In fact, being even just a little productive is what keeps me from falling into a rut. Patience and persistence and compassion are key. So. Emails are sent. Cats are fed. Teeth are brushed.I stumble through it all. To-do lists are checked off, even if it’s minor things, like “Make a list of to-dos for tomorrow” because right now any little triumph helps.
My inner Janeane Garofalo knows I’ll be much happier when Week 1 starts and I’m feeling more ready to roll. For now, I will take my time stumbling, because I understand that I might actually stumble upon something really great in the process.
PRO TIP: This is an ideal time to let the creative juices flow. Pick anything that may help. Take this time to let your mind wander. Maybe it’s into a book, or a film or song or art. You know that adult coloring book craze? Go for it. And screw worrying about staying perfectly within the lines. Or maybe it’s brainstorming for your own projects. I came up with a great idea yesterday and you know what? I let my mind play with the idea and then made a great to-do list for it…for later. Dream up a new layout for your bedroom. Anything. Be kind. Remind yourself dreaming is doing, too.
Here’s the full video for those who don’t get the above gif reference, or just want to watch the scene because you love it as much as I do. So good.
New readers please note:
The Cycledork Chronicles are based on my 4-week menstrual cycle pattern that lasts around 29 days on average. (note: I do not use hormonal birth control). I’ve been keeping track of my cycle for years (even before apps!) and because of this I’ve uncovered patterns that have helped me better navigate my life and become a kinder friend to my body, my mind and my period. An expert I am not, except of my own body and cycle experiences. You may have similar days to mine or your experience may be completely different. My hope is that some of you might be able to relate, celebrate, or commiserate with me. Or at least get a good laugh as I chronicle my ladyhood. Because for me, the more I learn about my own body and cycle, the healthier, happier and more empowered I feel. I hope you do, too.
I welcome any and all thoughts in the comments!
Want to better understand your cycle hormones? Read this: Back To The Basics: What Is a Menstrual Cycle?